Another loss for our family

I can't remember if I had written about this when it happened, but my mom's younger brother, Jack, died a few months ago.  It was half expected as he wasn't in the greatest of health, but the way it happened was a tragedy.  He died alone in his little trailer and no one noticed until a few days later when he wasn't picking up his phone for his once weekly chat with his son.  He was the first of my many aunts and uncles to pass away.


And yesterday we had another loss.  This time, it was my dad's sister, Sherry.  Sherry was diagnosed with Lymphoma a few months ago.  She was stage 4 at the time, but made it through several months and rounds of chemo and became cancer free.  While this was good news, the bad news was that there was only a 3% survival rate for her type of Lymphoma, unless she went through a stem cell transplant after her chemo treatments.  She opted for this, since she knew it would be her only chance of living at least a little bit longer.


She was being treated at the Mayo Clinic, which everyone knows is one of the best hospitals in the country.  We knew she'd be in the best hands possible after having several unfortunate incidents with the small little local hospital she had been previously treated at.  Her brothers, my uncles, stepped up and offered to help pay for anything she needed that insurance wouldn't cover.  My dad spent tireless hours searching for hotels and rentals that take cancer patients as well as husbands, brothers and dogs, and traveling between Rochester and the Twin Cities for weeks while getting her settled in and meeting with all the doctors and nurses that would be treating her.



Sherry had the stem cell transplant and the doctors couldn't have been more pleased saying she did so well, but now the hard part would begin. As her body would be completely rebuilding itself literally cell by cell, she would soon lose her appetite, energy and entire immune system, and eventually come down with both influenza and pneumonia affecting both her lungs and her heart. She was admitted into intensive care a week ago where she became unconscious.


She came to just long enough to make one last final phone call to my dad on Friday. She died on Saturday.


This woman had been through so much in her life. First, being born into a family of 6 brothers and sisters, with a controlling and abusive father. Secondly, marrying a man who soon also became controlling over her life to the point where she and her husband had no contact with any family for years and years until the horrible and untimely death of her 19-year old daughter, my cousin, Gina.


Then losing her only living child to what he called "her obsession over Gina's death" and not ever being able to know her own granddaughter. He now resides with his wife's family in WI with his daughter. We're not even sure if he has any contact with anyone from the family anymore or not. I think possibly one or two of my uncles may still be in contact.


The only peace I can find in this whole situation is that she is no longer in pain. No longer fighting the good fight. And she is now reunited with her daughter in heaven, and can now watch her granddaughter from a distance, which is more than she ever got on this earth.  I can also find peace in knowing she was at my wedding having herself a good ol' time, and also attended my baby shower, where I will always treasure the little Winnie the Pooh she had attached to the gift she brought that day. 

I will always remember her sense of humor, and especially her laugh.  It's so strange that when I lost my grandmother, then my uncle and now my aunt, their laughs are the things that always come back so quickly to my memory.  Maybe that's because through all the tragedy, I choose to remember them happy.  The happy times are the times we should all choose to remember.  And cherish, while we still have them.